The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Subscribe

Archive for the ‘marriage’

Risks of a Bro in law…

March 04, 2010 By: gbu2 Category: marriage

monopoly-app

Texting

 

Bro in law: So, I hear you are sad. Did you download Monopoly on your iphone?

Me: No, not yet. I wasn’t sure about it.

Bro in law: Well, you should…you can play me and Sar!

Me: Uh….dunno

Bro in law:  I HEAR the hesitation in your voice! Is it because Sar cheats?

Me: YES! I am gonna tell on you! Total blog material.

Bro in law: LOL, of course you know I gave you material just to make you happy.

Me: Uh huh…sure even if you’ll get YELLED at??

Bro in law: Sure. Why not. LOL.

Me: Dangerous

 

Minutes pass…..

Bro in law: So that’s it you aren’t gonna talk to me anymore?

Me: Eh. You’re needy.

Bro in law: whatever. Rae laughed at me.

Me: Cause it’s TRUE.

Bro in law: So…

 

And that, my friends, is why I LOVE my family ;)
Sometimes they CAN cheer me up….

It’s Official: I need HELP…

January 21, 2010 By: gbu2 Category: marriage

So, there is this new game that I am now officially ADDICTED to on my iphone. It’s called Words with Friends and it’s free…and it’s addicting! It’s like words on crack….

 

Hubby: How many games do you have going on?

Me: Oh, like 12-13 different games.

Hubby: That is too many!

Me: No, I need a lot going on….

now it is almost bedtime and I have been playing for hours….

Hubby: Stop it! You are an addict!

Me: I can’t stop (hiding phone)…..

 

Anyone out there wanna play? If so, let me know…nothing like one last hit….

words

Beware of the Bubble Sun

January 13, 2010 By: gbu2 Category: marriage

bubble suns are wrong!

bubble suns are wrong!

The Bubble sun is an evil thing that plays tricks on the average sun lover. The following conversation will teach you all you need to know about “bubble suns.” I have no accurate description on how to survive them, but just a clarification to help you realize when you are being plagued by one…

 

Me(whining): Moan, moan, moan…it’s SO cold here. It is SO cold that during the walk into work I want to die as the wind whips my face, chapping my lips and turning my tears into icicles.

 

Co-worker(happily): It’s going to be 35-40 this week! That is SO WARM!

 

Me: Speak for yourself! That is NOT warm…it’’s better than 9 degrees, but still not warm! (remember I like those temps of 120!)

 

Co-worker: But it is WARMER than it was!

 

Me(warning): Don’t be fooled by the bubble sun!

 

Co-worker: What is a bubble sun??!!

 

Me(matter of fact): A bubble sun is by all aspects someting that looks like a sun, but for our purposes of analyzation is NOT a sun. A bubble sun is a sun that is stuck in a bubble. So, while it looks like a sun, it does not feel like a sun,  thus it can possibly make you temporarily happy, but it does NOT last. Because it was never able to emit real rays of sunlight,  it could not provide us with accurate  levels of Vitamin D, so we are not really happy, but more miserable and grouchy like the people in Seattle who never see sunlight.

 Hence, my foul mood. It’s all very scientific…you see?

 

There you have it folks, my theory on the evil bubble sun and why I have a scientific RIGHT to be grouchy…

Moving Madness…

November 18, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: marriage

So, this should be no real big surprise to most of you, but I. HATE. MOVING.

It’s actually on par with how much I HATE DRIVING in morning traffic. And you know that’s HUGE.

 

Moving across country? Even worse.

 

I mean sure, I don’t have much. I pretty much have a very basic man pad that I have been living in these past few months while Hubby moved to the land of far, far away. And now the time has come for me to move with him to the land of far, far away. And while I missed Hubby at times, i.e. eating cereal all the time is not as cool as it sounds….I am not looking forward to the journey out there.

 

Why? Well, I HATE packing. I hate the upheaval. It makes me crazy. I know, I know you already THINK I am crazy.

 

Let’s just see if I make it out alright…..I fear I may end up in the funny farm.

 

moving2zd3

Missing Hubby?

August 12, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: marriage

husbands1

 

Many of you have asked if I miss Hubby yet….

 

And the simple truth? 

 

If Hubby texts, calls or emails me ONE more time telling me how he is eating like a KING–oh you know, steak dinners and whatever else that makes my tongue salivate as I type I WILL strangle him. All I have to eat is cereal. Doesn’t he care? Nope, no siree, he does NOT care. He wants me to DIE from only eating cereal. Yup folks, true story.

 

Don’t tell me to take cooking lessons. I got married for a reason, remember? And Hubby is not upholding his part of the bargain: which is to make me food.

 

These are the types of texts I get:

Me: This day is lasting entirely TOO long.

Hubby: Oh. I’m at home with my feet up.

Me: I hate you.

 

More Texts:

Hubby: It’s thundering and raining here.

Me: I hate you.

 

But then he sends me an email of Boston…who I REALLY DO miss…and then I sorta DO miss Hubby….sorta

Email: Boston says good morning. He likes to watch me from the top of the stairs.

My Response: He is so adorable. I prefer to think he is plotting his escape to come back to me :)

Can you see him? He is peering down from the top of the stairs...

Can you see him? He is peering down from the top of the stairs...

Mickey D’s Saves the Day…

August 03, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: Food, cooking, marriage

I am about out of cereal, which means I have to venture out and try other things for dinner. GASP.

 

So, tonight I attempted to make dinner for me and Patches. I made salad for me, and dog food for her. Both were an epic failure. (Please don’t ask me how I messed up salad, ok? But, I got MAD skills in the kitchen…ok, maybe not)

 

Patches: Are you KIDDING me, Mom. This looks nasty. I’m gonna tell Dad you are trying to kill me.

Patches: What IS this?

Patches: What IS this?

 

Me: Fine, but look how much WORSE mine is! (BTW, Patches wouldn’t even touch mine–she at least sniffed hers!)

Me: Why does it look like my salad threw up on itself?

Me: Why does it look like my salad threw up on itself?

 

Ok, let’s go get some McDonalds!

Mmmm burgers

Mmmm burgers

 

Moral of Story: we both ate our dinner and I didn’t kill the dog. YET.

hamburgers make dinnertime better!

hamburgers make dinnertime better!

Hook, line and sinker

July 26, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: Pets, marriage

Dad, will you take me Potty? Mom is BORING...

Dad, will you take me Potty? Mom is BORING...

 

Me: UMM, Patches needs to go potty.

 

Hubby: So take her out!

 

Me: She told me she wants YOU to do it.

 

Hubby: Uh huh sure…..

 

Me: She did! She only likes when you take her out! She told me she thinks I am boring! And she likes spending time with you.

 

Me: Oh yea, she also prefers you to feed her, pick up her poo, and play with her too!

The Bad Wife Strikes Again

April 24, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: Bad Behavior, marriage

sillydaddytextingdate01b

 

It is no secret that I LOVE texting. I love it so much that Hubby just about divorced me over it. However, I love him SO MUCH that I decided to get unlimited texts, so he couldn’t leave me! (Smart, right….hey, I need someone to cook for me–hence, Hubby is a necessity) You don’t even want to know how many texts I have used so far…..ha ha!

So, after I got home last night, I decided to text Hubby and check in to see how he was doing, being the good wife that I am. Here’s how our conversations went.

Texting

Me: Hi

Phone Rings–it’s Hubby

Me: WHY are you calling me?

Hubby: Cause you texted me.

Me: I know! You are supposed to text me back, not call me!

Hubby: Can I help it that I prefer to hear your voice, rather than text you?

Me: Yea, you need to get over that. I prefer texting AND I am watching TV!

Hubby: But, you texted me!

Me: I know, I am a great multitasker, however I CAN’T talk to you on the phone AND watch TV!

Hubby: You are ridiculous!

Me: So.

Love is Patient…

April 19, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: Life, marriage

imagesmarriage2

Over the weekend, I was procrastinating. This entailed moving at a snail-like pace….barely getting ready to go out. Hubby wanted to take my car in because it has been acting funny.

Me (playing at the computer, caught in the act)

Hubby (meanly): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET DONE. I don’t want to wait in long lines to get your car done!

Me(surprised he caught me): I am just taking a quick break, you were in my way!

Me: Clearly we need a break from each other! I can’t wait for you to leave this week!

Hubby: Me Too! How does leaving tomorrow for two weeks sound?

Me: That is just not soon enough!

And that is how much we love each other….ha ha

MANswers

April 09, 2009 By: gbu2 Category: marriage

joyoftech3532

 

1. What is the object of your blog!!!!….

 

Answer:  I have no clue.  I have thought about talking about the wifey’s bad habits, since mine seem to come as great humor to so many, but the fact of the matter is that I have done nothing about it.  We had some idle conversation at lunch one day and then the next thing I know there is a post and an outcry for me to start writing.  Since I don’t blog, I have put it on the back shelf, instead concentrating more on finding a job.  Anticipating the wifey’s response, there are plenty of times where I have sat around and watched TV, so the time is there I just have not done it

 

2. “How about, for Father’s Day, your amazing (genuis, cute, etc.) wifey does two days of ‘it’ duty? She’s a good sport, and she loves you, and you love her, which means you have make her some beer-basted ribs for Mothers Day . . . or have Jersey Mike’s catered.”

 

Answer:  That would not work because the “amazing wifey” would take May as an entire “Not it” month.  When it comes to birthdays I have my one day and she explains that during the entire month of her birthday I have to be nice because it is her birthday month.  Come to think of it, she does the same thing for her unbirthday month.  I’m screwed.

 

3. Q: how does it feel to have the perfect wife and how do you fend off the hordes of men trying to steal her away?

 

Answer:  As for the perfect wife I could get carpel tunnel disputing this statement, but she makes me happy, so I guess I will keep her around for a while.  The hordes of men are not an issue. Because when we where living in Texas (in our mid twenties), there was a middle school across the street.  I was not too concerned when she was outside getting the mail and got asked if she was going to attend the MIDDLE school dance or not.

 

4. I am curious about what your husband thinks of your blog?

 

Answer:  First off: Hi Lori and I had fun hanging out with Aaron.  P.S. if he gets out of line, throw a package of beer nuts at him, it will get his attention.    I am fine with her blog because at least, so far nothing too damaging has been posted.  As long as things stay in good taste I am fine.  Sometimes she spends a little too much time at the computer blogging for her readers, but she is happy doing it.

 

5. Just what makes you think you can step into these remarkable blogging shoes? What are your strengths and weaknesses?

 

Answer:  I don’t think I can step into her blogging shoes plain and simple.  As for my strength I love wifey, but somehow that also serves as my weakness.

 

6. What was the last nice thing you did for wifey?

 

Answer:  When I returned home yesterday from one of my interviews I brought her a gift.  It is a magnet that says “This house is owned & operated solely for the comfort & convenience of the CAT!”  I felt it was fitting.

 

7. What was your reaction the first time you saw your lovely wife febreeze her feet?

 

Answer:   did not actually see her febreeze her feet.  She stuck them in my face afterwards and all I can say is that febreeze needs to make a stronger product.

 

8. If you were going to be stranded on a deserted island and you could only take 3 items with you…what would they be and why?

 

Answer:  What is this some kind of psych exam?  First would be wifey for extra curricular activities.  ( I mean what kind of question is this? I mean this is her blog and I can’t come out and say I want to take Jessica Alba).  Second, a large case of Makers Mark because why the hell not.  Last A FRIGIN BOAT SO I CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. 

 

9. Mr. Hubby, what do you do to compensate for the greatness of your wifey? Do you become the best at something else [outside of the home of course, so as not to overshadow wifey] or have you simply learned to live with it?

 

Answer: Not sure if you are being sarcastic about outside the home.  If you mean at home you have missed a few blogs about why the wifey married me and her lack of well placed cooking skills.  Someone actually bought her a book on how to cook everything.  She might have looked up boiling an egg and for how long, but that is it.  As for not overshadowing her outside the house I just stay back about ten feet to accommodate the ego that all of her loyal readers have given her.  THANKS!

 

10. What made you fall in love with your lovely wife?

 

Answer:  I love her sarcastic nature and many other qualities.  We are a great match, and I don’t know how anyone could not love her because as she put it she is the most perfect wifey ever.

 

11. What is the greatest thing your wife could give you as a present….that didn’t require money or sex to acquire?

Answer: This was a hard one, since everything I thought of was sex or money. BUT, the best thing would be for me to come home one day, and for Wifey to have cooked me a nice four course dinner. (But we all know this would never happen)

manswers1

Brought to you courtesy of the Great and Powerful Hubby