The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Imagine this scenario:

It is a little after 10PM and you are sleeping soundly in your bed. A little bit restless because you are recovering from the brink of death (AKA the 24 hour stomach flu). You are finally, blissfully asleep. There’s a cool breeze from the above fan, and your faithful dog is lying at the foot of your bed (you kicked her off the bed cause she is a BED HOG). You are dreaming you just won the lottery when all of the sudden you are awoken VIOLENTLY by SOUNDS.

This is not just ANY loud sound, but imagine the sounds of some large,  metal substance dragging on the concrete. Along with gutteral, morbid war cries coupled with whoops of “we got another one!”

Sounds like the makings of a wonderfully, horrific horror movie, doesn’t it? Well….welcome to my life.

In actuality, it is the next door hoodlums. What are they doing? They seem to be set to massacre any and every bug they come into contact with. First, one hunts them down with a flashlight, then the other drags the shovel behind him (in a terribly, horrific way—-ie think nails on the chalk board) while the other one hollars and whoops that he has found their next victim. Shovel boy immediately smacks down on poor, unsuspecting bug and smites him out of existence, laughing menaically. (Personally, I don’t think said bug ever knew what hit him)

Do I live in the ghetto? Perhaps. I prefer to hope it’s just not future murders in the making…..SIGH.

So, in the town we live in there is a population of 10 people. No JOKE!!  Ok, maybe I am being a little sarcastic, but it is a SMALL town. 9 out of 10 of these people are college kids! Why is this important, you ask? BECAUSE I am trying to paint a picture for you of the neighborhood we are living in. And yes, we ARE renting and in about 5-6 months, we will hopefully MOVE.FOR.THE.LAST.TIME.EVER.

(Hubby, are you reading this? You should know that I am exempt from having to pack up any of this craptastic rental house cause it was part of our terms)

Now, back to the point. Apparently we are living on the edge of Graduate Housing…what does this mean exactly?

That we are living by another PARTY HOUSE???!!! Are you kidding me? I can’t seem to get away from these! Makes me feel old.

Me: I HATE party houses!

Hubby: I know. But it is only temporary.

Me: So…I HATE not sleeping! Why can’t these crappy college kids be QUIET!

Hubby: Umm you used to be one of those…

Me: SO! NOW, I am a grumpy old lady that is gonna call the cops!

When did I get so old?!!!

(For those of you smart asses out there, that was a rhetorical question)!

In Loving Memory

I have some bad news. Our neighbors’ weed trees have hit the dust.

Tiger, our neighbors’ gynourmous Tree Weed, has kicked the bucket. I came home and she was gone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I felt a little empty inside, and hoped she hadn’t felt any pain or suffering. I guess she is in a better place now.

What about Tigher Lily? 

Tiger Lily has also bit the dust, but that is because Hubby poured paint thinner on her. Mean, old Hubby!  Ahhh the vicious circle of life in the weed kingdom.

Sad times. I’m gonna miss those weed trees!

Tiger, the Tree Weed

We rent in an Home Owner’s Association (HOA) neighborhood. The HOA is pretty crazy about how your house looks, ie IF you have any weeds, trash cans out, statues, or any other type of montrosity you will get FINED! A montrosity is deemed as anything that they don’t like or looks hideous.

Well, I have found the most hideous weed ever. It is in our neighbors yard. I have watched it grow from a small sapling of a weed, into a gynormous tree weed and I have named him Tiger, the Tree Weed. It is crazy how fast this succer has grown. I am just curious if they have gotten fined yet by the HOA because they have a lot of other weeds too (not that we don’t, but I choose not to look at our weeds)! I am thinking they really must be partial to this tree weed. Soon, it will be bigger than their house! And once that happens, I will be there taking pictures.

What do you think? Pretty big, huh. I think it is the biggest weed I have ever seen.

Tree Weed