The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

So I’ve decided after a little soul searching and a trip down memory lane…that I am not throwing the towel in…I will make my way out of the ABJ and back into a life that makes me feel alive.

Lately I have noticed that I feel like a half dead version of myself.  All day long I sit at a desk listening to idiots who DON’T listen to me…I swear I have to repeat information at LEAST three times…No our hours are 8-5….they are eight to five.  Yeah if you ask me a third time they still DON’T change! WOW!

Also people I don’t make the rules….I know I may have told you something else the first time, well then someone else gave me a new rule to follow so I do so.  Yes I know this isn’t how it worked last time.  I am sorry for the confusion but this is how it is NOW I am following what others tell me…you can look at me and ask me in as many different questioning sentences as possible I still will not change what I have to say.

I also love how people look at me and cock their head when I tell them my schedule….Really yes I know I work shitty hours that change ALL WEEK LONG –you don’t need to look at me like that to remind me.

Also please do not tell me “wow you have a college degree and you are doing this”

Do you want my death to be on your hands?  Because I can make that a possibility-don’t tempt me or fate for that matter.

Now here is the sick truth readers….I am thinking of going back to school.  I just can’t make the decision for certain if that is what I should do because let’s face it I have bills and at least have to pretend to be an adult and I really am not sure how good of a multi- tasker I am.  But it’s an idea I’ve been throwing around my head….I would love to have a masters degree….and I like school so it seems like a win, win situation.  I just have to solidify myself on what I want to be when I grow up because let’s face it there is a difference between what I think would be a awesome job and what could actually make its way to reality. 

Also I miss my creative endeavors that made me feel like me…I miss dancing…and acting…and hanging out with friends…..i miss writing more than I do currently and I really want to love what I do…so I decided every night I need to put some time to these uses..whether that be exercising, blogging, or job searching it will be done….Wish me luck!

GBU2

Dear ABJ-

You never fail to impress upon me just how extremely angry you can make me.  I love watching day in and day out just how incompetent people are, especially when they work the job I used to work.  I also love to see how many people have credit for things that I did when i was in said job.  I love watching people lie, cheat, and steal and get patted on the back for it.  ALSO it is my absolute favorite when no one does their job and expects me to pick up the slack.  Thanks for never realizing hey the person that is the closing shift is actually on vacation…oh well that must be my problem now…what I call my manager and that said manager never picks up the phone?  Oh well.  I love dealing with all these shannanigans when you have never paid me enough, try daily to make me feel like my talents are not as amazing as I KNOW they are, and make me feel like a crazy angry person that wants to set fire to a building.  ABJ you never disapoint when wanting to make me pull out my hair, scream, cry, and set fire to a building.  My hatred for you has grown  a hundred times over.  My poor family hears daily about how i just want to shoot bitches.  I thought I could deal with you ABJ-but i just may have been mistaken.

I HATE YOU. 

Sincerely,

GBU2

Dear Fairy Godmother—

Don’t take this the wrong way but, I haven’t seen you around a lot lately. 

Where did you go?  Are you on vacation?  In the bathroom?  Indisposed?  In the hospital?

Please, Please make a return to my life and make it quick! 

It would be much appreciated if you came back before I drown myself

in a disaster of my own design!  Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

GBU2

Me and the sister were having an argument today…..she had a job interview that she was less than excited about, but it seemed kind of promising.

Sister’s reaction-Kill me now

Me-Yea!!! You can have an ABJ too!

S-NONONONO!

M-YES!!! Then we can move away from the other sisters’ crazy dogs! (who are super crazy lately by the way.)

S- No I don’t want it I hate them already! 

M- You will take it! What are you too good for an ABJ?

S-I would rather sell my soul!

M- That is what I do every single day!

S-I would rather be a stripper!  Then I would get paid more to sell my soul!  I think I could get over the idea of taking off my clothes…

M-You are such a whore.

S-I wanna be a stripper!

If you put a group of girls together issues arise.  If you put a group of girls together with a few boys sprinkled in, issues still arise.

Each girl wants to be in charge, each girl wants to look the best, and each will try to win.

This does not change whether the girls are friends or sisters. The only thing that changes is HOW they try to get the control. 

I experienced a different level of GT a couple of days ago, I say different because I am used to my sister’s unique levels of GT as well as their usual weapons of choice.  I.E Screaming, yelling, threats to get me to do things for them, or even them taking something I want and using it for their own gain.  They essentially become a tag team when we live in the same house.  Basically it’s always two against one with us.  As long as someone that isn’t us is losing we are cool with that.

I can ignore their joint GT because it is a usual occurrence.  It is a part of my everyday life. 

Outside GT on the other hand is a difficult, daunting, or even draining experience because it is an assault on all one’s senses.  It is something that no one is used to, therefore you have no defense. 

With my sisters I can at least logic that they are my blood and never really could or would hate or judge me.  I believe for as much as sisters torture you-they also are a built in support system.  They tear you down so no one else can.  Sick I know.   

Anyway- when you grow up with specific attacks you need no defense it CAN NOT and will NOT tear you down.  It is the background music to your life.

Outside attacks on the other hand are a different breed.  They are like a horror movie that makes you jump repeatedly because you never know what is coming.  Are they attacking you with niceties?  Sass?  Sarcasm?  You never know what the battle will be….

There is no way, absolutely no way to get around GT.  At most you will be able to ignore familiar GT.

GT can be expected at work, home or play.

At best it is confusing and at worst GT is emotionally draining.

WARNING- GT- can be illustrated by; whining, crying, arguing, yelling, any device to help you get your way-sometimes even silence is utilized.  Short spurts of niceties complete with backhanded comments are a sign that GT has struck again!

So the other day I am getting ready for the day brushing my teeth…thinking well this is as good as I am going to look today bantering with the sister who is doing the same in her room….and when I go to open the door…what do I hear?

Sister-don’t come out!

Me-Why?

S-I am changing my shirt

M-*re-closing bathroom door, thinking to myself not only is her bedroom door WIDE OPEN, but I totally saw naturual light from her room* Isn’t your window and blinds WIDE OPEN?

S- eh

M-Seriously you are worried about me seeing you when any chester molester out there can see perfectly well into your room?

And this dear friends is a regular day at my house…

Don’t look shocked we all have them in one form or another….My abusive boyfriend is my job…which I refer to as ABJ for short.

It’s something we go back to because what we have right now…isn’t any better.  This inevitably happens at different points in our lives and we stand there twiddling our thumbs wondering what we should be doing.  Feeling lost and alone and BAM!  Something we once loathed suddenly doesn’t look all that terrible.  I mean the night before I was totally thinking about how much I hate you and how death would become you..but you want me back? Hmmm maybe I don’t hate you as much as I thought.  I mean I know we are most likely going to make the same mistakes as before…but I’m not doing anything right now…and either are you and you want me.  It’s funny how those words/ sentiments can change everything.

ABJ I still think we are all wrong for each other and I may kill myself because of you…but let’s try this…just for now.

So today is the sisters’ bday and she is very demanding….she has decided to go to work because she wants as many people as possible to tell her how AMAZING she is….her words not mine….

She likes loads of attention…me, I would personally rather stay in bed all day on my birthday…She wants as many people as possible to acknowledge that this is in fact HER day…Lately she has been claiming April as her ENTIRE MONTH…insanity I know.  Especially when April is also her boy’s birthday month as well, she has been trying to talk him into changing months.  The negotiations aren’t going too well.

She has been telling me for days that the ONLY thing she wants for her Birthday is a surprise party.  I told her that is not a gift, nor is it something she is going to get.  Ridiculous.  I love you sis…but a gift is something I can buy at the store gift wrap (badly in comics!) and give to you…Or something you hate to do that I do for you since your language of love is service!  Hence your clean house, brushed dogs, and the necklace I gave you!  It’s not even your day of birth yet and I am done!

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a glorious birthday.  I hope you have a great day at work complete with people telling you how marvelous and irreplaceable you are!  Today you can feel free to wear your shirt- It’s all about me!

Tomorrow it’s another story….

bed love

Dear Hubby,

As you may or may not realize, the bed is my domain. Much like the garage is your kingdom, the bedroom, specifically the bed is my most FAVORITE place. Thus, I must regret to inform you that upon moving back in with you, you have increasingly taken advantage of my coveted bed-safe zone place. You have messed up my pillows, you have thrown your dirty, smelly towels on it and WORST of all you bring little, tiny rocks into bed with you.

EW. 

I regret to inform you, that unless you STOP bringing in these gross, dirty rocks, your bed access privileges will be revoked.  Currently, I am allowing you access to this most prized possession of mine, in the name of sharing, however we both know that I am not much of a sharer. So, I am requesting that you de-rock your body before coming into bed or you will not be allowed in anymore.

Sincerely,

The Management (WIFEY)

NO MORE!

Rae just got back in town from her vacay. I know, hard life right?

So, I got a call from her last night:

Rae: So, I was just wondering what time the move starts tomorrow?

Me: Well, we pick up the Uhaul truck tomorrow by 10. So be ready by 10:30am.

Rae: Ok, so is my bed still there?

Me: HA HA. You’re JOKING right? We moved everything! There is very minimal stuff in the house.

Rae: OK OK I was just checking. Anyways, I can’t do a lot of heavy lifting tomorrow…

Me: WHY?

Rae: I have a sunburn!

Me: ROLLING EYES OVER THE PHONE.