The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

So it’s been awhile, no? But, my sister has been keeping you entertained as my stand-in-blogger as of late. However, I think I will still drop in on occasion to remind you that you MISS me, the ORIGINAL.

So, I have been going through a lot of changes—some good, some bad and some ugly. But, nevertheless I think I am re-finding myself and my sense of humor—thus the furlough from blogging life.

I have this new office at the job I work at. It’s your normal, average boxy like office with a desk, computer and all that good stuff. It’s nice you know, nothing above average. However there is THIS one thing that I am still getting accustomed to. Here’s the THING. The wall closest to my wall is the wall that is shared with the men’s bathroom. No big deal right? Yea…that’s what I THOUGHT. Who knew being this close to the bathroom would be the joke of the office?

Co-worker (comes in with a smile): Hi, I just have to WARN you about something.

Me (smiling): OK. What’s up?

Co-worker: Do you like your new office?

Me: Yes, it seems fine.

Co-worker: Well, I used to have your office and I want you to know…there is a downfall to it.

Me (unfazed): Ok, shoot….what’s wrong? Are there ghosts?

Co-worker: Well, no, but there IS the bathroom guy. You will hear him and he will SCARE you and I just wanted to warn you about him. Don’t be alarmed if it sounds like someone is dying in there. It’s just him going number 2. So, I wanted to warn you.

Me: Ok…well thanks….I haven’t heard anything yet….but I appreciate the warning.

Then I heard IT.

Um, folks? She wasn’t kidding. The first time I heard it, I thought someone was doing it in the bathroom…no joke! Complete with MOANS, curse words, and anything else that you don’t typically expect to hear from your work office wall.

The GRUNTING, The GROANING, The VERY LOUD, ODD NOISES. Now, these aren’t your typical I-am-just-trying-to-drop-the-kids-off-at-the-pool noises. They are full blown…the guy in the bathroom MIGHT be having a heart attack noises. NOT KIDDING.

It’s still a little unnerving, but I am starting to get used to it now…. it’s almost ODD if I don’t hear it. And I wonder to myself, what I ever did BEFORE I shared a wall with the bathroom?

Ahhhh, it’s the little things in life right?

So I’ve decided after a little soul searching and a trip down memory lane…that I am not throwing the towel in…I will make my way out of the ABJ and back into a life that makes me feel alive.

Lately I have noticed that I feel like a half dead version of myself.  All day long I sit at a desk listening to idiots who DON’T listen to me…I swear I have to repeat information at LEAST three times…No our hours are 8-5….they are eight to five.  Yeah if you ask me a third time they still DON’T change! WOW!

Also people I don’t make the rules….I know I may have told you something else the first time, well then someone else gave me a new rule to follow so I do so.  Yes I know this isn’t how it worked last time.  I am sorry for the confusion but this is how it is NOW I am following what others tell me…you can look at me and ask me in as many different questioning sentences as possible I still will not change what I have to say.

I also love how people look at me and cock their head when I tell them my schedule….Really yes I know I work shitty hours that change ALL WEEK LONG –you don’t need to look at me like that to remind me.

Also please do not tell me “wow you have a college degree and you are doing this”

Do you want my death to be on your hands?  Because I can make that a possibility-don’t tempt me or fate for that matter.

Now here is the sick truth readers….I am thinking of going back to school.  I just can’t make the decision for certain if that is what I should do because let’s face it I have bills and at least have to pretend to be an adult and I really am not sure how good of a multi- tasker I am.  But it’s an idea I’ve been throwing around my head….I would love to have a masters degree….and I like school so it seems like a win, win situation.  I just have to solidify myself on what I want to be when I grow up because let’s face it there is a difference between what I think would be a awesome job and what could actually make its way to reality. 

Also I miss my creative endeavors that made me feel like me…I miss dancing…and acting…and hanging out with friends…..i miss writing more than I do currently and I really want to love what I do…so I decided every night I need to put some time to these uses..whether that be exercising, blogging, or job searching it will be done….Wish me luck!

GBU2

Me and the sister were having an argument today…..she had a job interview that she was less than excited about, but it seemed kind of promising.

Sister’s reaction-Kill me now

Me-Yea!!! You can have an ABJ too!

S-NONONONO!

M-YES!!! Then we can move away from the other sisters’ crazy dogs! (who are super crazy lately by the way.)

S- No I don’t want it I hate them already! 

M- You will take it! What are you too good for an ABJ?

S-I would rather sell my soul!

M- That is what I do every single day!

S-I would rather be a stripper!  Then I would get paid more to sell my soul!  I think I could get over the idea of taking off my clothes…

M-You are such a whore.

S-I wanna be a stripper!

So after “awhile” back at the good old ABJ….I have come to the conclusion that presents to myself are a necessity…even mandatory to my good mental health…good may even be a stretch-so you get the idea….it’s really not an optional activity.

Anyway presents–they are my rewards for not saying the nasty little thoughts that go wizzing through my head multiple times a day when dealing with demons at the ABJ.

I have successfully, as of yet anyway. Kept MOST negative things to myself, Yes dear readers I sadly can not keep it in check ALL the time, but I’m pretty good at keeping MOST of my angry little thoughts to myself.  I’m kinda like a helium balloon…I’m still floating but I get closer to the ground slowly…

 I’m pretty sure if I didn’t let some anger out I just might detonate like a bomb and explode the building…which wouldn’t be too bad….

ANYWAY I have survived thus far and it has been a feat.

AND so far I have gotten myself approximately…. ten plus present for the last ninety hours back…hmm this job just might be more expensive than it is worth!

If you put a group of girls together issues arise.  If you put a group of girls together with a few boys sprinkled in, issues still arise.

Each girl wants to be in charge, each girl wants to look the best, and each will try to win.

This does not change whether the girls are friends or sisters. The only thing that changes is HOW they try to get the control. 

I experienced a different level of GT a couple of days ago, I say different because I am used to my sister’s unique levels of GT as well as their usual weapons of choice.  I.E Screaming, yelling, threats to get me to do things for them, or even them taking something I want and using it for their own gain.  They essentially become a tag team when we live in the same house.  Basically it’s always two against one with us.  As long as someone that isn’t us is losing we are cool with that.

I can ignore their joint GT because it is a usual occurrence.  It is a part of my everyday life. 

Outside GT on the other hand is a difficult, daunting, or even draining experience because it is an assault on all one’s senses.  It is something that no one is used to, therefore you have no defense. 

With my sisters I can at least logic that they are my blood and never really could or would hate or judge me.  I believe for as much as sisters torture you-they also are a built in support system.  They tear you down so no one else can.  Sick I know.   

Anyway- when you grow up with specific attacks you need no defense it CAN NOT and will NOT tear you down.  It is the background music to your life.

Outside attacks on the other hand are a different breed.  They are like a horror movie that makes you jump repeatedly because you never know what is coming.  Are they attacking you with niceties?  Sass?  Sarcasm?  You never know what the battle will be….

There is no way, absolutely no way to get around GT.  At most you will be able to ignore familiar GT.

GT can be expected at work, home or play.

At best it is confusing and at worst GT is emotionally draining.

WARNING- GT- can be illustrated by; whining, crying, arguing, yelling, any device to help you get your way-sometimes even silence is utilized.  Short spurts of niceties complete with backhanded comments are a sign that GT has struck again!

I come home after dropping the boy off from a weekend of festivities with all three sisters…yes we do scare him… I get home, look at the counter expecting to see my delicious sugar cookies from paradise awaiting me…and they are gone….immediately I yell to the sister….

M-Did you steal my cookies?

S-No.

M-Where did you put them I left them right here on the island!

S- I did not take them!

M-I don’t believe you!

*Side note these cookies are the best sugar cookies EVER! Seriously they have to be laced with some kind of addictive drug or something… no joke and I needed them because tomorrow is sure to be a bad day…ABJ here I come.*

S-Did the animals get them?

M-No way they have been on the counter all day! And I don’t see any trash!

*Walks around house to discover ONE tiny sliver of evidence!  One tiny sliver of purple writing on brown paper…oh paradise cookies! My anger builds immediately and I want to cry that is how good these cookies are!  They were meant for my belly to help me through tomorrow!*

My sisters pets are demons…and currently I hate them for stealing my delicious snack….I can’t even look at those terror twins…oh paradise sugar cookies I feel your loss.

You are my new favorite place!

 You have all my favorite food. You have a REAL sun. You are pretty.

courtyards

 And I am in awe.

sandcastles

I love you.

I love your warmer weather (even though you think it is cold). I love your palm trees, they help my homesickness.

is it weird palm trees stir up home like feelings?

 I love your ocean. I love the smells.

water, water everywhere...

But what I love MOST.OF.ALL is that there is NO SNOW here. Can I stay forever?

ahhh....beach

Love,

Your new Favorite Admirer who NEVER wants to leave

sunset

So, the Land of Far, Far Away (LFFA) is also known as Smalltown USA. The reason I tell you this is because Hubby used to bitch and moan about how he was “stuck in traffic.”  This is about the time when I would hang up on him.

AND if you recall I used to commute to work in the Land of Eternal Sunshine AND that being said…it was utter HELL.

Remember?

So, today I was in orientation at my new work. And people were complaining about the “traffic.” I snickered at them. What do THEY even know about traffic? I mean, REALLY?

Well, I soon learned on my way home that LFFA DOES have traffic! UGH. Is there no end in sight for me? Being that we live about 10 minutes from my work. It took me half an hour to get home. NOT because it is stop and go and there are millions of people on the road…but because LFFA believes in one lane roads….UGH.

I never thought I’d say this, but at least when I got road rage out west, I could ragefully(yes, I just made up that word) switch lanes and tailgate……

I fear traffic will FOREVER be the bane of my existence.

WTF??!!

This weekend marks the big duel in the desert/territorial cup game! It is the WILDCATS versus the Scum Devils. And for those of you that may not remember: I. AM. A. DIE. HARD. WILDCAT.

Last year, we got to go to the game. This year, with the move upon me, there is no way I will be able to be there in person. But you can bet that I will be watching it on TV. Oh you can bet on it!

GO CATS! Only 4 more days! I LOVE a good rivalry!

Sparky will fry...

Yesterday at work I had the most awkward thing happen to me in the elevator. (Guess I didn’t hit the door close button fast enough, shame on me).

So there I was trapped (out in the open) waiting for the elevator to come pick me up and take me downstairs when all of the sudden someone was there standing with me. Now, just so you know this person who will remain nameless, let’s call them Nellie; well Nellie recently became a girl. She was a boy before. Not that I am judging cause I couldn’t care less what kind of bits you got down there…know what I mean? It’s not my business, but whatever makes you happy, makes me happy, but I had to tell you that piece so you could appreciate the awkwardness in my situation.

So, anyway, here’s how the conversation goes….

Me: Oh, I am not going up, you might want to catch the next elevator. (You know how I am about awkward elevator conversations…)

Nellie: Oh, that’s ok. I have been wanting to talk to you.

Me: Oh yea, ok.

Nellie: I was just curious what it is about you? I mean, do you have some magic about you?

Me: Huh?

Nellie: Well, it’s just there are ALWAYS a multitude of boys surrounding your desk at work and I just wondered how come you are always surrounded by boys?

Me (nervous laugh): Ummmm, I do? I don’t think so! I mean, I have a lot of guy friends. Maybe I am just man-like.  (No pun intended)

Nellie (hearty giggle): Oh I don’t think THAT’s IT…..wink wink

AWKWARD PAUSE

I run out of the elevator…

NEW RESOLUTION: I am taking the stairs from here on out!

kinda awkward, no?