You might be a redneck if…(continued)
This is real folks, I don’t make this stuff up! You know you are definately in the Land of Rednecks when…
1. You are driving home from work and you see a truck that is riddled with sticker bullet holes and a bumper sticker that says “If duct tape don’t fix’r you might as well use more duct tape”
2. The check out lady in Walmart has two teeth.
3. The WHOLE town shuts down to go to the Basketball game and you know that’s the BEST time to go to 1 of the 2 Wal-marts in town because it won’t take you 2 hours to get through the lines!
4. People ask you if you’ve had a Pepperoni Roll yet. It’s famous cause you don’t have to heat it.
5. You actually have this conversation with someone:
Me: Excuse me. I belched.
Person: Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it!
6. People (including myself) are anticipating the grand opening of the ONLY Sonic in town. It’s the talk of the town!
7. You are encouraged at work “not to chew” and there are incentive plans of getting $250 dollars just BECAUSE you don’t chew. (If you don’t know what this is, don’t ask)
8. People ask you where you are from because YOU have an “accent”
9. Your neighbor has a chair with a BUG zapper light on his second story window ledge. And no, this is not a porch, it is a roof ledge.
10. The special for lunch (at work) is Redneck Tilapia with slaw.
11. Flannel shirts are a WAY of life.
12. Big Hair and Bangs are in. Just like in the 80s.
(Note to Sisters: I hope this doesn’t deter you from visiting your FAVORITE sister who misses you…)
You know, I think I’ve lived there. I’ve had a lot of experiences just like those. And they took place — EVERYWHERE! HA!
1That sounds about like the culture shock I went through moving from Los Angeles to Kansas….and that was 30+ years ago and sometimes I still feel like a deer in the headlights.
2You’ll figure out a way to love it. After all… you are a genius
3Woah. Okay. I think even I would know I was in redneck-ville if I had these experiences! I literally LOLed reading this, by the way XD.
4As somoeone who lives now in Alabama (who moved here from Los Angeles) I TOTALLY GET this!!!
5Oh Dear Gawd - did u move to OH when I wasn’t looking??!! For being in the midwest this place is redneckville and the twang in the accent is amazing. I am embarrassed to tell you how many of your list apply here. Truly embarrassed. Although the lady at my Wally World has about 4 teeth. Gah…
6LOL…the grill…..i cant stop laughing….funniest post EVER….EVER…zman sends
7WOW.
I have to say that Aaron and I do a lot of our shopping/errands on FSU football game days in the fall. No lines anywhere because everyone is tailgating/watching the game!
8Just looking at your article on my new Pure phone, and I wanted to see if it would allow me comment or if it was going to me go to a desktop to do that. Ill check back later to see if it worked.
9Thanks for this excellent blog.
10Ah tractors, brings me back to when I was only a lad, when I was young i was brought up over a farm exactly where all of the tractors had been green. I like John Deere but for some reason I have always liked Farmall. Anyawy I am starting to daydream now…great post I’ve given it a DIGG.Com for you.
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