The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

So, after a beautiful weekend of 50 degree weather (and yes, I am STARTING to think that is warm) it decided to snow yesterday. First of all talk about weather teasing….I mean REALLY.

And upon seeing all that white junk on the ground again, my mood immediately soured. And having no one else to grouch at, I immediately turned to Hubby blaming him for the snow and the crappy weather. He, of course, didn’t say much and just smiled as he de-iced my car.

And after grumbling for most of the day at work about this terrible snow, everyone told me basically to get over it and I will adjust. So, I figured ok…maybe I SHOULD try and get over it.

I got home, was in a fairly good mood, and pranced up the stairs to get the mail. Now, here is where the snow had the last laugh. As I was walking NORMALLY back down the stairs to go into the house, I BIT IT hardcore and landed SMACK DAB on my butt. Luckily, I had enough cushion to protect me and didn’t land on my head, right? My sisters say it’s lucky I got the butt gene as apparently my butt is salvageable.

However, I now have a bruise the size of Texas on my butt and can BARELY sit down on it without howling in pain.

Stupid snow, I KNEW I cursed your very existence!

I’m just hoping I can make it through the day sitting on one ass cheek…

So today we had an ADVENTURE.

Not by choice, mind you, but by default. We were out looking for houses because eventually sometime soon, we will need to find a place to live that is more permanent. For now, we are living near the party house, if you recall. Anyways, we decided to go house hunting for open houses today, as it appeared most of the snow had melted and the roads were clearer. (Now remember I had just come back from warm, sunny Florida, so you can imagine I was not in the best of moods to see the white crap).

Me: Ok, looks like this house is somewhere in this area….

Hubby: Hmmm this road doesn’t look so great…

(imagine huge rolling hills with LOTS of snow and non plowed roads and then you can pretty much imagine our town in the Land of Far, Far Away)

Me: Umm yea you better turn around

Hubby: Ummm there is no where to turn around. This isn’t looking so great.

Me: Umm can you back down this hill?

Hubby: Ok…..

Long story short we ended up in a ditch and the truck would have nothing to do with this white crap either. She decided to not allow us out of our prediciment.

After the kind help from strangers and 2 hours had passed and TONS of complaining on my part, Triple AAA finally came and yanked us out of the ditch.

Me: PLEASE can we move now? I am ready. I want to go home to the LAND of Eternal Sunshine!

Hubby: Yes, I agree…when can we leave?

I think he is being sarcastic folks, but see: I hate snow, snow hates us….

Either that or it is time to get 4 wheel drive, what do you think?

STUCK

This morning I woke up in my usual NON-JOVIAL way which quickly turned to pure, utter CRABBINESS once I saw the stupid SNOW all over the ground. What little pleasantless might have been buried under my morning breath had now deserted my body.

Me (Stomping up the stairs): UGH IT’S SNOWING.

Hubby: How much?

Me: Who cares; my life is OVER.

(Ok, so I am a bit dramatic when I see snow, but I swear I am allergic to the stuff….)

So, I begrudingly drive off to work, and once I get to work the girls in the office snicker at me. They snicker because they think I still dress like I am from the Land of Eternal Sunshine and I have just recently gotten a pair of gloves, so no longer do I enter the office in bits of winter wear. Now, I come dressed for SNOW and I think they find me amusing.

This is how I NOW dress....

So I get to work and here goes the conversation:

Coworker (snickering): So, how do you LIKE the snow?

Me: I hate it.

Coworker: Well you know. It NEVER snowed til you got here…..

Me (rolling eyes): I didn’t EVEN know what snow was….

Coworker: I think we should blame you! You brought the snow!

Me: PUHLEASE…I came from the Land of Eternal Sunshine! We never saw snow….

Cowoker: Oh yea? But it gets HOT there, right? I’d prefer snow, I think.

Me: Not me! Besides it’s a DRY heat!

I MISS you, Land of Eternal Sunshine!

So, we are driving home the other night from the movies and it is SNOWING outside. Shocking right? Well, you can imagine my pure, unadulturated pleasure and excitement at seeing the STUPID snow… (if you don’t know I am being sarcastic by now, you probably should stop reading).

Me: UGH snow.

Hubby: I think it is kinda cool driving in it.

Me (scoffing): Why?

Hubby: Because it kind of looks like Star Wars. You know when you are flying light years through the galaxy in the spaceship and you see all the stars shooting past. Driving through the snow is kind of like that.

Me: You are OFFICIALLY a dork.

Hubby: Hmph.

Background Information: During the trip out to the Land of Far, Far Away I ended up with a chip in my windshield that compounded with lots of traveling and cold weather turned into a large crack in my windshield. This being said, thank goodness for glass coverage!

Waking up Hubby:

Me: It is snowing outside! SIGH

Hubby: Oh yea? Well drive slow.

Me: BUT, you told me to take your truck today so the car could get fixed…

Hubby: Yea, so?

Me: But, I don’t know HOW to drive in snow….so I can’t be held responsible for damages…unless SOMEONE wants to drive me to work….

Hubby: Want me to drive you?

Me: Yes, but cause you want too…not cause you love your baby (truck) more than me, right? (wink, wink)

Hubby: grunts

Hence the evil genius wins again….

Dear Land of Far, Far Away:

I would appreciate if you’d stop crapping white stuff ALL OVER THE PLACE. Cause I.DON’T.LIKE.IT!

At this point I can barely find my car! Does this mean I get out of work? I’m thinking that’s not a viable excuse…is it?

Thanks,

The Aniti-Snow Girl

Other snow conversations…

Hubby: You really need to learn how to enjoy the snow. Want to make a snowman?

Me: No, I don’t DO cold weather.

Hubby: You’re dumb.

Texting

Rae: This year doesn’t feel like Christmas.

Me: I know!

Rae: How come you feel that way?

Me: Well, last year there was no snow and I was STILL wearing flip flops…can’t beat that!

More Texting

Me: It’s cold!

Sar: Oh, not here. I don’t have a snowflake in my smart car. When it’s cold here I get a snowflake!

Me: You are DUMB.

Sar: My car says it’s 74 here today.

Me: DIE.

Dear Land of Far, Far Away:

I awoke Saturday morning to this:

BRRRRRR

NOT COOL. Can’t you give me a break? I JUST got here. Can’t you break me in a little before you start crapping white all over the place? I mean, I have barely  been here 48 hours before you decide it is time to “break me in”????!!!!

Again, not cool. At least you have mostly melted away. BUT this is FAIR warning that you need to give me a little more time to acclimate. You are terrifying my warm, sunny body. Didn’t you know, I don’t DO snow? I am from the land of SUNSHINE…..give me some time to adjust.

Got it?

Thanks,

Your NEWEST Resident

AKA the SNOW HATER

Not that we ever got these that much, while living in CT and working at YALE, but right about now…with all my friends telling me they get to go home EARLY because of the perceived 7 inches of snow that should be hitting the East Coast….I actually miss this crap! HOW crazy am I?

I want a snow day! Please? Pretty Please? (How is it possible that I actually MISS the snow? After all I did was complain!) Well, I know I don’t miss shoveling or driving in it!

I can’t believe I miss it!  :)